Discerning Whether to Talk or Listen
from Let’s Talk, pages 36-37
Recognizing what you want to achieve in a conversation is key to deciding how much you should talk or listen.
Can you listen when you’re upset?
If you’re in a difficult conversation and you realize that you’re too upset to listen, here are some skillful options to try.
If strong emotions are inhibiting your ability to listen, for whatever reason, consider taking a break from the conversation, before you say something you might regret later. You can gently interrupt the other person and ask to pause.
The limitations of asking questions
If your goal is to understand someone, you might think asking questions is the best way to do that. After all, isn’t asking questions a good way to get more information, as well as demonstrate your interest?
How to apply communication skills to Buddhist Right Speech
Many people long to live their lives in accordance with higher principles. They feel disheartened when they get caught up in the repetitive irritations of everyday life. It can be quite humbling to think that we are living with wisdom only to find ourselves arguing and not getting along with those around us. We are enticed by our desires, wanting things our own way. We blurt out our thoughts and feelings, alienating each other. A real challenge is to incorporate our wisdom into our lives.
What do you say?
“You’re a total slacker,” she shouted. “No one can ever please you,” he retorted. “Get your act together,” she continued. “You’re so bossy,” he replied. In the 1960s as a young counselor I led encounter groups. Many of us were looking for practices to help us speak our minds more freely.
